please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize