OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
