He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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