the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize