I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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