what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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