So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
