just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
