She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
