if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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