thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
