well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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