i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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