i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
