Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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