I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize