bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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