Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
