i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
