I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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