Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
