Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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