I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
