He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
