I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
