apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
