no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
