I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize