Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
