There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
