We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize