you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize