Do you still have your period?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Someone came in the potted fern
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
