Are we in a gay sports bar?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
