Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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