I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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