1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
