I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
