Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I accidentally burped into my bong.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
