Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
