Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
