He is an equal opportunity slut.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
