She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize