As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
