Christians are straight up FREAKS
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
