you guys were way drunker than both of me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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