$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
