I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
