so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We need to rekindle our bromance
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
