when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize