People with herpes should wear stickers.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
