we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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