Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize