Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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