Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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