I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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