i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
