Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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