The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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