Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
