what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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