worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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