just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
