(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Still dying that you shit outside
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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