That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize