It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
