please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
