Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
