Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
