We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
