Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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