walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
