yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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