just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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